Why A Guy Isn’t Going To Hop Into Bed With You


Contrary to popular belief, not all men are horny douches who’ll plug themselves into anything within a 3-block radius that has the right anatomical apparatus. Well, they really can and they’re out there ladies, believe me. I’m married to one.

Maybe you’re dating one now who hasn’t made a move and doesn’t seem to want to, or maybe you’re interested in one who seems like he’s sitting on the fence. Either way, there are valid reasons why he’s acting like the boring prudish squared-off lame-dude dud, and not the love-hungry sex-starved wild freak boy who’s constantly all over you.

There are various reasons why a guy isn’t going to hop into bed with you simply because of the probability that your parts will fit well together. It may be all about you, and it may be all about him. Let’s take a look:

  • He isn’t attracted to you.

This one gets to the heart of the matter. Again, men (and women) are very particular about what they find striking enough to be worthy of pursuit. And you simply don’t have it. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. You’re just not his type.

Chalk it up to a learning experience and don’t try to press the issue. Rejection is something we all deal with at one point or another and try to look at it from the safety angle. You’ve saved yourself a lot of time and investment in someone who you’ll never have a shot with in a million years. Why waste another minute worrying or trying?

  • He sees you as only a friend.

Men generally tend to categorize women in two whole categories: ones they’d sleep with and ones they won’t. They tend to want to remain friends with the ones they won’t sleep with. That’s not to say that a hedonistic tryst is the furthest thing from his mind, but he wants to keep it cool because he respects your friendship and/or other boundaries that may be involved.

Look at it as an honorable position to be in because he looks at you as more than just a piece of meat. He sees you as someone valuable for whom he doesn’t want step over the line. Who knows, there may be something in store for you in the future and a friendship is a good basis for a budding relationship.

  • He’s not ready yet.

He may not be ready because he’s not sure how he feels about you. He knows he likes you enough to hang around and spend time getting to know you, but he’s taking things slow because he still believes in courtship and romance.

Yes, this man is rare but he’s truly a gem. Be flattered and grateful that he wants to take the time to court you and treat you like a lady. Go with it and be patient because if it’s really worth it, soon enough you’ll be hitting the sheets.

  • He doesn’t want to get involved with you.

Sure you’re attractive, and sure your bum in those gym shorts looks mighty fine to him and you definitely have all the physical attributes he seeks because he’s pointed it out on several occasions. But he’s not going to go there with you because he knows that he’s not going to get away with it Scot-free.

He sees that you’re probably leaning towards the whole “full-blown relationship weekends at home cuddling up on the couch” type gig. He’s not ready for that and he doesn’t want to pretend or entertain any notion of the such. He doesn’t want to take advantage of you so don’t make him. Sure you might be able to succeed at seducing him but you’ll only regret it when things turn out badly. After all, he warned you. Leave it alone and leave the door open for someone else.

  • You’re laying it on too thick.

Believe it or not, there are some men out there who are turned off by your constant sexual advances and freaky allusions because they are thinking you’re just another slutty hag. They really do want a “lady in the streets and a freak between the sheets”. And you running around town with your behind popping out of your Daisy Dukes with a lolly pop in your mouth 24-7 says you’re easy and available. Not to mention whorish.

You have a vag and that is a given. You don’t need to show it to the world to let it be known. In fact, you’d get better results if you didn’t bring up sex at all. It’ll drive him crazy because he’ll be dying to know what’s stirring behind that “conservative” exterior.

Take it down a few notches because it’s turning him off and making you look bad.

  • He’s getting off and/or getting it from someone else.

He doesn’t feel the need to get it from you because he’s already got someone or something to satisfy his every need. It may be an ex he’s still in love with, it may be the chick up the street, or it may be a nasty porn addiction you don’t know beans about.

He’s probably not telling you that he’s seeing someone, nor that he spends hours and hours watching porn and yanking his stick. If you’re actively involved with him and your gut is telling you to, check up on him, especially if it’s a new relationship. New relationships are the most fertile ground for mind-blowing sex and if he doesn’t seem the slightest bit interested, something is wrong. This is a big, swinging red flag in front of your face that you’d be stupid to ignore.

  • It’s bad for business.

He may be a friend of your parents, your brother’s boss, your son’s little league coach, or the family mechanic, and this may very well be the only snag that’s holding him back. He knows better than to lay down crap where he eats his dinner because it isn’t going to fly well in any direction. He’s knows he’s going to lose out on business relationships, funds, and peoples’ trust and it isn’t any way to instill in people the incentive to remain loyal. He knows that and you’re just not worth it.

If you ever saw Paul Newman and Tom Cruise in “The Color of Money“, you’d know exactly why. Shagging the wife, sister or mother of a business associate is as sneaky and low-down as they come. It’s a can of rotten onions that needs to remain sealed off from here to timbuktu.

If the guy in question doesn’t want to seal the deal, you need to find out why, so that if you have to you can move on before wasting any more time. Life is short, especially to be digging away at something that is doomed to fail. Only you can decide if he’s worth his weight in salt and whether he’s worth going after. 

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